P.O.P.T.

No, silly this is not a redo!!! LOL I AM LOSING MY MIND BUT I AM NOT LOSING MY MIND. Can't wait to graduate...it's only a few months away. I will miss all of the young nubiles (and new guys), but life will go on!

This next bit of genius is a spin-off of the popular "People of Wal-Mart" photos that have been spread around, which is way funnier than the other thing you came across that has been spreading around...

People of Public Transit

My favorite is Andre 3000 knitting on Page 4, but they are all pretty entertaining. Reminds me of one time I saw a guy on the 5W Green wearing a cut-off shirt, frayed jean shorts and drinking a brown bag that turned out to have a whole fifth of bacardi O in it... Needless to say I rethought my bi-curiousity.

Anywho, later whispering eyes and whimsical guys,
RUFIO

I'll leave you with some sick Bacardi-O and Bi-Curious related pictures:

P.O.T.P.

In a word: Yummy.
In two: Scintillating, Sexy.
In 13: Let's play hide the puppet. I've got the perfect hiding place in mind.

Puppetry of the Penis

I wanna see this more than the upcoming Twilight movie. (Something about that pale skin next to mine that gets the blood pumping to my fangs (Well really just the one in my trousers...). Don't even try to copy my notes from class cause all I write is "Mr Rudy Cullen". LOL!!

But back to my original point (or should I say limp???). This puppetry of the penis thing has been around for a while, but I just really got into it today when I Googling different things.. Watching the videos is super funny cause a lot of the girls had the same reaction as I did! They just opened their mouths! RAAARRRR!!

Like I always say, Let no sexuality be confused and let no hole go unused.

Loves,
RURU

Jive Ass Mo-Fos

Hey y’all,

So after my recent 8 PM run checking out the honey-dips and
honey-sticks (just call me the beekeeper : p), I came home to hear
some terrible news. I was checking through CNN’s top stories of the
evening and discovered the most popular story was about a girl who was
gang-raped outside a school dance by 20 boys for nearly 2 hours. : (

This story really gets my blood boiling, and definitely not in the
veins that count. How could 20 people possibly be so interested in
raping one teenage girl? First off, there is no way that 20 guys
could sit around looking at each other penetrate one girl for nearly 2
hours! If I were them, I’d make myself a little mayo and salami
panini (shout out to Darnell at Panera!) out of those gangrapers if the man-meat was that abundant. Second, I can’t believe
these guys would go for **SUCH** an amateur. Like Lil Wayne, most
kids start having sex when they’re only 11 these days. But if 20 guys
think that some skeezy high-schooler is going to be a better
chickenhead than this tall drink of guy-gravy, then they’re just plain
wrong!

Such a travesty… I just don’t have words for it. Oh well, time to go
watch my Yankees kick some Phillies ass! There's nothing better than
a big line of jocks just waiting to slap each others butts on the way
to the dugout. I don't even care who wins. All I know is that when Jeter and A-Rod(And what A ROD!!!) hug, everybody is a winner.

daps and hugs,
"definitely not p"Rudy

Asia Happy Driving School

Some people say that looking into a pond inspires deep reflection because you stare back at yourself and see yourself in nature, its' most primitive form. But really I think I just made that up.

Speaking of reflections though, I felt like I was looking into a mirror a couple days ago when I took this picture below. "Asia Driving School" with an American Flag next to it. Finally, my identity crisis is over! HALLELUJAH!!! LOLZ! I have always felt like an Asian trapped inside of an American world. But now it makes sense. I am an Asian driving instructor trapped in a car trying to teach other Asians how to drive. I have a good chance of getting in a car accident, you say? Well maybe so, but at least I'll take a chance and go risk it all rolling the dice in the process. Playas gotta play. Asians gotta drive. Oprah's gotta go on a diet. Welcome to the 21st century.



There are moments every day that make me happy to be who I am (Insert anytime I triple kiss with a hottie and a hotguy...), but today I was a super special moment.
I challenege you to find super special moments in every day. As they say, strike while the iron is hot, because chances are I am busy ironing a shirt and to be honest I am into the whole masochistic thing...MEOW. Strike away!

But cereally people, there's beauty in every graffiti tag, rainbow, and even every piece of doggie doo. You just need to stop and smell them once in a while. (Not recommended with the doggie doo..HELLO!)

Later Hom -ies and -os

Mexican Phone Company

These last few weeks have been pretty boring (AKA STRAIGHT). But there are some exciting times to cum and that will be the focus of my next few posts...

So as a fifth year, there has been a big question mark about the dismal job market. This downturn is being felt worldwide, by humans and animals alike. It is a scary time to be entering the real world, but I am ready to hit it like that cabana boy in Key West. (Ethan, I really think only you and I get that one ;) LOL)

The way I see it, I've got a number of great options, and I am literally wide open for anything... I entered into this website what I consider to be some of my skills and it returned some job openings that I am qualified for. Here is the outcome:
Skills:
-Outgoing: I love interacting with others and I am a very giving person.
-Incoming: Because who likes pulling out?
-Looks Ethnic: I can literally pass for a multitude of different races. Some call me Native American, Phillipino, Icelandic, Japanese, or Honduran. Like I've said before, I wouldn't mind having a litle Cherokee in me (and it'd be pretty redundant to say a little Japanese...tehehe)
-Food Service: I've catered parties before, I've worked at a sushi place, my slave mom makes me delicious food all the time.
-4/10 on the Desperate for Work Scale: Not quite to the whoring my body for money or drugs point (shout out to my boy Blake), but definitely willing to swallow some pride (and maybe some other stuff) to make a buck... (get your minds out of the gutter)
-Likes Animals: Some people have compared me to a cheetah (i usually go fast), panther (i'm stealthy and might scratch you up), and anteater (i've sucked a basketball through a mechanical pencil before), among others. What kind of animal are you?

And the job that I am most qualified is..............................................
The Mexican Phone Company

FML. hopefully Pikes need a new house boyzilian waxer soon. UGA any word on that?

Peace homies and homos

Sushi rolls AKA my guilty pleasure

So now that I'm a super salacious slippery sushi chef, I have to admit something, and this may come to surprise some of you. I'm half Japanese. I know what you're thinking, "rudy's a geisha". (hint: Take off the last syllable of that word and say it out loud...but just a little).

So I decided sushi would be a cool route to head. It combines two of my
favorite things: food and long slender objects. I am currently in training right now which means we
practice making rolls, max out on unagi, and sing traditional Japanese folk songs such as Kwai Uni Gotto (Destiny is a crescending
wave) and Tamagatchi Pika Ino Tojoson (Our Fearless Leader will Kamikaze Fascist America Once Again). It reminds me
of the times I would visit my famiy in japan and my parents would pit me against my full-Japanese cousins in sumo matches to prove who was a stronger country. I had to eat 3 big macs before we wrestled and this pretty much sealed my
fate. Far East power!

But making sushi is pretty great, I get to wear a cool chef's hat and and flirt with customers. I'm working on a new special roll...the Chester Roll, in honor of my favorite bar. It is a regular spicy tuna roll that tapers off on one end, culminating with a small mushroom cap on the end. Small blob of cream cheese at the end for dipping. Trojan garnish (Magnum if I'm lucky). Come by (or bi...) and I'll make one especially for you.

Stay tuned for saucy sushi stories, hope you don't have swine flu.

<3 roodz

The Most Importan Meal of the Day

The term breakfast originated in japan somewhere around the 16th century, during the Vag Dynasty. Legend says that an emperor declared one morning before an important battle with a legion of Mongolian infidels, "fight hard with diligence, focus on supreme effort. Gods will lead our prosperity, and Mongolian break fast!". The translation worked out surprisingly well. The Japanese men were inspired, ate a healthy meal, and were hit with a surprise attack by the Mongolians. They learned their lesson and made breakfast faster the next time around.

Thus, it became my favorite meal of the day (except the feast I call Tyrone ;). But different situations call for different styles of breakfast. Come explore a morning with Rudy...

A - Early Class: wake up as late as possible, identify how adventurous I was last night by checking the hair length of the person laying next to me (squeeze in a quickie,) and roll out of bed. Usually need. Cup of coffee and grab the first leftover I see in the fridge (chicken tenders from C Street are usually my fav (and I can usually tell if I'll have them as soon as I see who I woke up next to hehe). Off to class and another day!

B - Weekend!: hopefully there is a little cutie next to me (or a big one, meow). I'll usually try and make a breakfast or help out if I am at this person's crib. 2 heads are better than 1, I always say... A protein shake is a great way to start off a weekend day, also!

C - At the Pike House: 2 advil, a protein shake (why not lolz), and the male Plan B... Don't ask, don't tell!

Question of the day:
Who is your favorite village person?
(people tell me I look like the Native American. I say I have a little Cherokee in me. But what I really want is a BIG Cherokee in me. Shh...don't tell.)