Thursday, October 29, 2009

Jive Ass Mo-Fos

Hey y’all,

So after my recent 8 PM run checking out the honey-dips and
honey-sticks (just call me the beekeeper : p), I came home to hear
some terrible news. I was checking through CNN’s top stories of the
evening and discovered the most popular story was about a girl who was
gang-raped outside a school dance by 20 boys for nearly 2 hours. : (

This story really gets my blood boiling, and definitely not in the
veins that count. How could 20 people possibly be so interested in
raping one teenage girl? First off, there is no way that 20 guys
could sit around looking at each other
penetrate one girl for nearly 2
hours! If I were them, I’d make myself a little mayo and salami
panini (shout out to Darnell at Panera!) out of those gangrapers if the man-meat was that abundant. Second, I can’t believe
these guys would go for **SUCH** an amateur. Like Lil Wayne, most
kids start having sex when they’re only 11 these days. But if 20 guys
think that some skeezy high-schooler is going to be a better
chickenhead than this tall drink of guy-gravy, then they’re just plain
wrong!

Such a travesty… I just don’t have words for it. Oh well, time to go
watch my Yankees kick some Phillies ass! There's nothing better than
a big line of jocks just waiting to slap each others butts on the way
to the dugout. I don't even care who wins. All I know is that when Jeter and A-Rod(And what A ROD!!!) hug, everybody is a winner.

daps and hugs,
"definitely not p"Rudy

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Asia Happy Driving School

Some people say that looking into a pond inspires deep reflection because you stare back at yourself and see yourself in nature, its' most primitive form. But really I think I just made that up.

Speaking of reflections though, I felt like I was looking into a mirror a couple days ago when I took this picture below. "Asia Driving School" with an American Flag next to it. Finally, my identity crisis is over! HALLELUJAH!!! LOLZ! I have always felt like an Asian trapped inside of an American world. But now it makes sense. I am an Asian driving instructor trapped in a car trying to teach other Asians how to drive. I have a good chance of getting in a car accident, you say? Well maybe so, but at least I'll take a chance and go risk it all rolling the dice in the process. Playas gotta play. Asians gotta drive. Oprah's gotta go on a diet. Welcome to the 21st century.



There are moments every day that make me happy to be who I am (Insert anytime I triple kiss with a hottie and a hotguy...), but today I was a super special moment.
I challenege you to find super special moments in every day. As they say, strike while the iron is hot, because chances are I am busy ironing a shirt and to be honest I am into the whole masochistic thing...MEOW. Strike away!

But cereally people, there's beauty in every graffiti tag, rainbow, and even every piece of doggie doo. You just need to stop and smell them once in a while. (Not recommended with the doggie doo..HELLO!)

Later Hom -ies and -os

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Mexican Phone Company

These last few weeks have been pretty boring (AKA STRAIGHT). But there are some exciting times to cum and that will be the focus of my next few posts...

So as a fifth year, there has been a big question mark about the dismal job market. This downturn is being felt worldwide, by humans and animals alike. It is a scary time to be entering the real world, but I am ready to hit it like that cabana boy in Key West. (Ethan, I really think only you and I get that one ;) LOL)

The way I see it, I've got a number of great options, and I am literally wide open for anything... I entered into this website what I consider to be some of my skills and it returned some job openings that I am qualified for. Here is the outcome:
Skills:
-Outgoing: I love interacting with others and I am a very giving person.
-Incoming: Because who likes pulling out?
-Looks Ethnic: I can literally pass for a multitude of different races. Some call me Native American, Phillipino, Icelandic, Japanese, or Honduran. Like I've said before, I wouldn't mind having a litle Cherokee in me (and it'd be pretty redundant to say a little Japanese...tehehe)
-Food Service: I've catered parties before, I've worked at a sushi place, my slave mom makes me delicious food all the time.
-4/10 on the Desperate for Work Scale: Not quite to the whoring my body for money or drugs point (shout out to my boy Blake), but definitely willing to swallow some pride (and maybe some other stuff) to make a buck... (get your minds out of the gutter)
-Likes Animals: Some people have compared me to a cheetah (i usually go fast), panther (i'm stealthy and might scratch you up), and anteater (i've sucked a basketball through a mechanical pencil before), among others. What kind of animal are you?

And the job that I am most qualified is..............................................
The Mexican Phone Company

FML. hopefully Pikes need a new house boyzilian waxer soon. UGA any word on that?

Peace homies and homos