Sushi rolls AKA my guilty pleasure

So now that I'm a super salacious slippery sushi chef, I have to admit something, and this may come to surprise some of you. I'm half Japanese. I know what you're thinking, "rudy's a geisha". (hint: Take off the last syllable of that word and say it out loud...but just a little).

So I decided sushi would be a cool route to head. It combines two of my
favorite things: food and long slender objects. I am currently in training right now which means we
practice making rolls, max out on unagi, and sing traditional Japanese folk songs such as Kwai Uni Gotto (Destiny is a crescending
wave) and Tamagatchi Pika Ino Tojoson (Our Fearless Leader will Kamikaze Fascist America Once Again). It reminds me
of the times I would visit my famiy in japan and my parents would pit me against my full-Japanese cousins in sumo matches to prove who was a stronger country. I had to eat 3 big macs before we wrestled and this pretty much sealed my
fate. Far East power!

But making sushi is pretty great, I get to wear a cool chef's hat and and flirt with customers. I'm working on a new special roll...the Chester Roll, in honor of my favorite bar. It is a regular spicy tuna roll that tapers off on one end, culminating with a small mushroom cap on the end. Small blob of cream cheese at the end for dipping. Trojan garnish (Magnum if I'm lucky). Come by (or bi...) and I'll make one especially for you.

Stay tuned for saucy sushi stories, hope you don't have swine flu.

<3 roodz

The Most Importan Meal of the Day

The term breakfast originated in japan somewhere around the 16th century, during the Vag Dynasty. Legend says that an emperor declared one morning before an important battle with a legion of Mongolian infidels, "fight hard with diligence, focus on supreme effort. Gods will lead our prosperity, and Mongolian break fast!". The translation worked out surprisingly well. The Japanese men were inspired, ate a healthy meal, and were hit with a surprise attack by the Mongolians. They learned their lesson and made breakfast faster the next time around.

Thus, it became my favorite meal of the day (except the feast I call Tyrone ;). But different situations call for different styles of breakfast. Come explore a morning with Rudy...

A - Early Class: wake up as late as possible, identify how adventurous I was last night by checking the hair length of the person laying next to me (squeeze in a quickie,) and roll out of bed. Usually need. Cup of coffee and grab the first leftover I see in the fridge (chicken tenders from C Street are usually my fav (and I can usually tell if I'll have them as soon as I see who I woke up next to hehe). Off to class and another day!

B - Weekend!: hopefully there is a little cutie next to me (or a big one, meow). I'll usually try and make a breakfast or help out if I am at this person's crib. 2 heads are better than 1, I always say... A protein shake is a great way to start off a weekend day, also!

C - At the Pike House: 2 advil, a protein shake (why not lolz), and the male Plan B... Don't ask, don't tell!

Question of the day:
Who is your favorite village person?
(people tell me I look like the Native American. I say I have a little Cherokee in me. But what I really want is a BIG Cherokee in me. Shh...don't tell.)

Co-Ed floors in the Dorms

Today I delve deeper into the psyche of what it means to be an adventurous soul...

That is the gayest sentence I've ever written or typed. If spell check had a gaydar, that shit would be underlined in pink.

What I really want to talk about today is something that fathers with daughters dread and made my little guy tingle way back in the summer of 2005. Co-Ed floors in the dorms.

Pros:
1. You're a doorway away from full access to whichever gender you are in the mood for. (Believe me, I change my mind more than Carrie changes shoes. What up, Sex and The City!)
2. It promotes further co-gender interaction (I bet that makes you happy, doesn't it, Dad?!) Everyday life is a little different when you're in the presence of girls all the time. Always gotta look fresh to death, but it keeps you honest. For me, it means I have to do a lot more laundry cause I burn through Deep-Vs like I'm a California Wildfire. Pretty crazy view of the fires if you click here.
3. Nip Slips. I live for them.

Cons:
1. I don't like mixing business with pleasure. OK of course I do. See: Rupaul.
2. Shrinkage... It's not because I'm half-asian, dammit! Seriously, ask NPH. In my dreams...LOL!
3. Contrary to popular belief, girls do in fact go #2. Experts speculate it could happen as often as once a week. I know guys, sick. What do you think prompted my bi-curious thing in the first place? HELLO!!

Question of the Day:
Would you rather watch an entire women's college field hockey game or go 3 months without getting any?

Sex. Tapes. House.

So I was listening to the radio this morning and a Very interesting subject came up. So interesting that I capitalized the v in Very. A listener called in and said she and her now ex boyfriend had made a sex tape together. Seems harmless enough, but now that they're broken up, the boyfriend has possession of the tape and won't return it to the girl even though she has asked repeatedly.

Well, duh. After hooking up with a fellow adventurer, I sometimes have good visual memories of the event (sometimes is an over statement). Do I give those memories back to the partner once we're done and they want nothing to do with me? No f-ing way. It's my bounty. My person proof that those nipples were the nicest I've ever seen or yes, I fit that entire thing in my mouth.

So on live radio, they called up the ex boyfriend and the girl asked if he would give the tape back. Things got a little heated and the guy repeated that there was no way he was giving it back. Then the show hosts chimed in and said, "bro, she can sue your ass if this ever gets on the Internet, you should just destroy it together and end the drama. Be a man." the guy responds with, "who the fuck is this, a new boy friend? Have you seen the ass on this girl, no way am I destroying the tape". Both radio hosts laugh and because they're trying to sound like nice guys (probably sig eps), they still insist that he should destroy the tape.

1. Awesome for the ex boyfriend.
2. Guarantee the radio hosts are trying to get that tape or get on the girl.
3. I f-ing love Taylor swift lolz.
4. As long as he is true to his word and keeps the tape to himself, case closed in my mind.

Some may think this guys an asshole, but he's straight up telling it like it is. And that is dead sexy.

Question of the day:
Ray J or Kim?

Laterz
roodz

Frat Showers

This is a little belated, but as I was cleansing my bod today and singing "sex on fire" by kings of Leon, I couldn't help but feel a tad lonely. No. It wasn't because I looked down and got depressed (I'm half German, dah! Mein Cocknfeffer is not Mein Kampf! ;). But really I just missed the old days of living in the frat and takin prison showers. No matter what time of day, there would always be guys coming in and coming out (wink wink) of the bathroom to do their business. Always someone to talk to and sometimes the occassional shacker. SHACKER! It was great to be able to chat, compare lather techniques, and have a reason to stay in great shape. The bathroom was the watering hole of the Savannah that was the frat house (wouldn't mind watering a few holes I saw there if you know what I mean).

Basically, I think showers are more fun when shared. In Japan, we go to public baths where everyone has a rejuvenating cleanse. Genders are kept separate (meh). Throughout history, bathing has been a social event. Sometimes I think I live in the wrong era.

If anybody wants to carry on the tradition of public baths, hit me up. Seriosuly, anyone.

Third floor hotel, 2nd floor motel.

Seriously.

A Million Words of Sorrow

Hey Ya'll

Sorry, I've been neglecting this, my secondary blog. To all of you dedicated followers that have continued to check it, I won't disappoint any more. I've just been posting so much fucking cool hetero shit on my other blog, VicariouslyRudy.Blogspot.com that I haven't had chance to explore my more adventurous side.

First, I was thinking last week about the controversy with that runner from South Africa last week, Caster Semenya. For those of you that don't know the story, this stud ran in a woman's race and posted some pretty crazy times (believe me, I ran cross country in high school and I hit the showers with some pretty good runners, what up kuph?!). Here is an article with pictures and a video. Look at that sexy face on the YouTube clip! And OMG I am so jealous of the cone that Caster is sitting on on this page. Pinch me! http://www.hollywoodgrind.com/caster-semenya-gender-dispute-in-women-800-meter-race/


Anyways, I just wanted to say that I admire this runner and I would love to meet her/him. Shoot, I'd go to pound-town on Caster either way. I think he could use a little TLC. Oops...did I just say he?

Love ya'll
ROODZ